As parents, we want to protect our children from the more frightening aspects of life, including homelessness and poverty. But children see more than we think they do – and like so many complicated issues, we want them to get their information from us, not TV or their friends at school. Importantly, children have an innate desire to help others and are interested in social issues. We can foster this natural tendency and channel it into action by having open, honest, intentional conversations about the issues of poverty and homelessness. Below are some guidelines for start these conversations.

What your child needs is guidance from you about how to think about and respond to these issues, so it’s important to sort through your own attitudes before bringing it up. What do you want your children to know about poverty and homelessness? In what ways would you and your family like to help? If this is an issue that you feel strongly about, do you give money to people you see or do you prefer to give to organizations that can help solve the problem of poverty on a larger scale? Once you’re clear on your own feelings, it’s time to talk with your kids.

These conversations don’t have to be long or drawn out. Start simply and continue to talk as your children get older. Five- to 8-year-olds are transitioning from being me-centered to seeing themselves as part of a group, and are becoming interested in solving the problems they see. With small children, it’s also important to communicate that they are safe. Let them know that while they have a home and food to eat, some people are not as fortunate. Older kids should understand that some kids and families are homeless – and the affect that homelessness can have on kids’ ability to learn and be successful in school, make friends and stay healthy.

Start by expressing your own feelings, by saying something like “I think it’s sad that person doesn’t have anywhere to live.” Make sure they understand that being homeless doesn’t make someone a bad person. Help kids understand that people are homeless for lots of different reasons. Sometimes it’s because they had an injury or got sick and couldn’t afford to pay for a doctor. Maybe they lost their job and couldn’t find another one, or maybe there was a combination of things that happened to force them from their homes. Help kids think about what homeless people might be feeling rather than just treating them as an object to be talked about. If you hear your child — or any kid in her social circle — making fun of a homeless person, be clear that disrespect is not okay.

A word of warning: sometimes parents try to use homeless people as an example of what could happen to the child if he or she doesn’t stay in school or doesn’t go to college, or engages in risky behavior. This is a bad idea, and it is generally not true. You want to use the situation to cultivate feelings of empathy and action, not shaming.

Talk about services that are available in your city, and how you can make a difference: “In our city, there are places where people can go to get a good meal and a place to sleep, but this isn’t the same as having their own house.” Talk about how your family can help, and ask kids for their ideas: “what do you think we could do to help?”  If you get them used to thinking this way now, it will become a way of life. Here are some ideas for kids of all ages:

Whatever you choose to do, don’t shy away from these conversations. If you never say anything about the people you see who are clearly in need, you may send the message that it’s not okay to bring it up or that you’re indifferent. When your child grows curious, that’s your cue to start the conversation.