In the spring of 2023, we announced the first set of Community Action Grants awards to seventeen local coalitions and grassroots organizations under our new approach to community impact as it seeks to build more equitable communities and advance economic opportunity. In the changemakers series, we will tell the stories of these organizations and their impact in the neighborhoods they serve.
Unveiling the Voices of Resilience
There is a harsh and silent reality that permeates our neighborhoods, schools, workplaces, and homes but is often hidden behind closed doors and is rarely acknowledged openly: domestic violence.
The World Bank states domestic violence is as harmful as cancer and more detrimental to women’s health than accidents, war, and malaria combined. This statement is indeed shocking, but its gravity becomes even more apparent when one delves into the global and local statistics of violence victims.
In 2020, United Nations data revealed that 47,000 women and girls were killed by an intimate partner or a family member, which equals one woman or girl killed every 11 minutes at home globally. According to the NCADV (National Coalition Against Domestic Violence) almost 20 people per minute experienced physical abuse by intimate partners in the United States. This translates to over 10 million women and men annually. On an average day, there are more than 20,000 phone calls to domestic violence hotlines nationwide. In Massachusetts in 2022, domestic violence programs assisted 1,112 adult and child victims in a single day, but 452 requests for services went unanswered due to resource limitations, with 54% of the unmet requests being for emergency housing. Fortunately, 756 victims of domestic violence found refuge in various housing provided by local domestic violence programs.
And while women are the primary victims, domestic violence knows no boundaries, impacting individuals across socioeconomic, racial, geographic, and cultural spectrums, regardless of gender, age, or background. And while it can affect anyone, it often disproportionately impacts marginalized groups and those among us who are already vulnerable – including people of color, individuals and families facing financial hardship, indigenous communities, LGBTQIA+ individuals, those with physical or mental disabilities, immigrants, refugees, women, and children.
Domestic violence demands not just our attention, but our collective commitment to eradicating it from our communities. Decreasing violence calls for an approach rooted in community involvement and sustained engagement with multiple stakeholders. The comprehensive approach to addressing violence within the context of family, culture, and community and restorative practices undertaken by HarborCOV over the past 25 years stands out as an exemplary model.
HarborCOV (Harbor Communities Overcoming Violence) is an organization committed to social and economic justice by breaking down barriers for domestic violence survivors in Chelsea, Revere, Charlestown, East Boston, Winthrop, and surrounding Boston Harbor communities to access housing, economic stability, and safety. In these communities, diversity is celebrated alongside economic adversity, as they are home to significant immigrant populations facing financial, language, and mixed immigration status barriers that exceed state averages. This provides opportunities for abusers to manipulate their partners’ lack of citizenship as a means of isolation, control, and financial dependence.
HarborCOV reports that 85% of their clients identify as BIPOC, 97% of their clients identify as women and identities inclusive of groups beyond the gender binary, 75% of their clients communicate primarily in languages other than English, and 56% of their clients are immigrants, refugees, or asylum seekers.
“HarborCOV does not develop any program without being informed by survivors. Survivors will tell us what works for them. We develop a program based on their needs, whether it is immigration support, housing, or economic stability. We learn from the community; we learn about its strengths. We would never want to impose any policy. We want to partner with it and support the survivors that are living in that community to overcome their challenges and work toward their priorities so that they can be free of violence,” said Kourou Pich, Chief Executive Officer for HarborCOV.
Kourou hails from Cambodia, where she was raised in a middle-class family. She is also a survivor of domestic violence. “Growing up I experienced domestic violence and sexual assault. But families, no one will ever talk about it. As a child, I witnessed domestic violence and personally experienced rape and sexual assault. I had done a lot of healing at the age of seven,” said Pich.
However, her experience with violence didn’t end there. While Kourou was pursuing her medical and nursing studies, a troubling situation unfolded. One of her fellow classmates was enduring domestic violence, evident from her frequent presence in class with visible injuries such as black eyes, often concealed behind sunglasses. Shockingly, nobody was willing to address this issue openly. Kourou took the initiative to engage with her, assisting her in locating the necessary resources. It was at that moment she recognized her passion for this cause, prompting her to begin her career at the rape crisis center, now known as Center for Hope and Healing in Lowell.
Kourou knows firsthand how it feels to be a survivor of physical, emotional, sexual, economic, mental, and immigration abuse. From a traumatic experience emerged a profound commitment to healing, one that extends beyond herself to aid others. She emphasizes that there’s no fixed timeline for healing, and in her case, it’s been a lifelong journey. “I’m not just a survivor; I’m also a thriver. Working with survivors is part of my healing process and a way for me to give back to the community,” said Pich. Kourou uses various methods like meditation, yoga, arts, hiking, and more to support her ongoing healing,
Pich’s unwavering dedication to domestic violence work, particularly in supporting immigrants and BIPOC communities, began more than 25 years ago and continues today as she tirelessly champions social justice and community advancement. Her journey with HarborCOV began in 1998, and she has been a pivotal part of the organization ever since. Starting as an advocate, Pich later served as the director of community services for six years before assuming the role of co-executive director in 2007.
Community Building and Restorative Justice Circle
HarborCOV currently has 21 full-time staff and 4 part-time staff, including organization leadership and administrative staff and bilingual/bicultural Spanish, Arabic, and Portuguese case managers who support survivors beyond those who live in HarborCOV housing. They staff an emergency housing team that provides 24/7 on-site coverage to their clients living in their emergency shelter, a transitional and permanent housing support team that provides on-site support for their clients living in their transitional and permanent housing units, an immigration team with one lawyer and one accredited immigration advocate to provide immigration legal assistance, and a dedicated Youth Specialist who coordinates support for children and youth clients.
HarborCOV opened three housing facilities in 2002, 2006, and 2007 for domestic violence survivors seeking stability. Their innovative transitional living-to-permanent housing program offers on-site staff and services, a first-of-its-kind in the country, allowing clients to live and access services in the same place. As of today, HarborCOV has a total of 29 housing units. Six apartments are designated for permanent housing for elderly and disabled survivors, twenty-three transitional to permanent housing, two apartments are dedicated to LGBTQIA+ survivors, and three units are for immigrant survivors.
Last year, HarborCOV provided housing to 74 individuals, supported 274 survivors through their community-based programs, and received 899 emergency hotline calls and walk-ins. The key challenge lies in ensuring the sustainability of operations and providing support to arriving survivors, both of which require adequate economic resources. The funds acquired by winning the United Way’s Community Action Grant contribute to this goal.
Achieving the United Way Community Action Grant was a significant milestone for HarborCOV, symbolizing not just financial gain, but also an affirmation of their relentless dedication. “Being selected alongside other inspiring and impactful organizations is a true honor. The United Way is a community leader in driving systems change, and we are so excited to be partnering with the United Way to leverage our collective impact in support of domestic violence survivors. These funds will go a long way in supporting domestic violence survivors, especially those who are experiencing homelessness and face other adverse barriers to living safely. When working with families impacted by domestic violence, flexible funding is critical to responding to everchanging crises, so this general operating support is especially important to our work,” said Juliana DeSimone, Contract and Grant Manager at HarborCOV.
A list of HarborCOV services might appear much like any other domestic violence program – hotline, emergency shelter, court advocacy, and outreach. However, the community-driven approach makes the day-to-day work different. Their community work takes a comprehensive approach to domestic violence, recognizing its connections to various forms of oppression like sexism, racism, and anti-immigration. It’s not limited to intimate partner abuse but extends to a broader family context. Pich highlighted that their work involves both intervention and prevention, as domestic violence is not isolated. “We know that domestic violence doesn’t happen in a vacuum,” said Pich.
Something unique about HarborCOV is the circle process, which is rooted in indigenous traditions to promote equity within the community, improve governance, and strengthen connections. They started implementing circles in 2014 and have since hosted them in both Spanish and English. “We utilize both community-building and restorative justice circles in our practices, depending on the specific needs of survivors and the community. We engage in circles with our staff, survivors, and the community whenever support is needed,” said Pich.
In 2018, HarborCOV hosted “Men in Leadership Circle”, inviting community men, including key figures like the city manager, city mayor, police chief, fire chief, principal, superintendent, and others to come together and discuss violence against women and gender-based violence. This circle is held quarterly for two to three hours. Their invitation reached 32 males, and ultimately, 38 of them attended.
The discussions explored behaviors promoting abuse and toxic masculinity, aiming for self-reflection and a community-wide solution to end domestic violence and work together toward institutional change. “We were not looking at categorizing men as good or bad, but rather understanding the socialization of manhood. We particularly wanted to engage straight men because, at that time, statistics showed that most survivors who had been harmed experienced it at the hands of their male partners,” said Pich.
Breaking the Silence
Behind the doors of homes that could be just like yours or mine, survivors have silently battled the darkness of domestic violence. Their stories are not confined to the walls of their houses; they resonate through our communities, affecting lives far beyond what meets the eye. Such is the case of Ashley (a pseudonym to protect her identity) who migrated to the United States years ago full of hopes and dreams to pursue a more prosperous future. What she didn’t know was that the person who offered a helping hand when she first came to the country would lead her to seek urgent help instead.
She initially saw his caretaking as a romantic gesture, but it eventually unveiled itself as a controlling and abusive relationship. “Empathy is so crucial— with a simple smile, you could be saving someone’s life,” said Ashley. According to her testimony, “He manipulated my mind and abused me all the time, threatened me by claiming to have friends in the police force, prevented me from communicating with my family. He was jealous and obsessed with me,” said Ashley.
On several occasions, she arrived at the emergency room due to physical abuse, but she stayed silent about being abused. Survivors may have various reasons for their silence. In her case, it was the psychological trauma that was too difficult to face, along with overwhelming feelings of shame and fear. She even called the HarborCOV hotline several times seeking help, but she would remember his threats and retract her calls, ultimately blaming herself for what was happening. “The lack of information leads us to the point of allowing ourselves to be subjected to violence, of enduring aggressions. Lack of knowledge makes the manipulations of the abuser seem valid,” said Ashley.
As a result of a physical injury that required a hospital visit, she discovered that she was six weeks pregnant. This last assault she endured while pregnant involved him strangling her, leading to her child being pronounced dead due to lack of oxygen. This gave her the strength to pray for a miracle. Whether it was a miracle or destiny, her baby’s heart started beating again, and that’s when she fulfilled her promise and found the strength to speak up and leave her abusive partner. That baby brought hope into her life and gave her the strength to escape. She confided in the doctor about her situation, and the doctor referred her to HarborCOV, where they devised an exit plan.
Ashley’s fleeing journey encompassed a 15-day stay in a hotel, during which she lived in darkness and was haunted by delusions of persecution. She then lived in fear in a single-room occupancy (SRO) apartment for eight months due to the unavailability of shelter, with her baby’s crib being the same as the bathtub. This was followed by an eight-month stay in a shelter where she had to share one bathroom and the kitchen with eight more families. Currently, she is in her one-year transitional housing stay as part of HarborCOV’s transitional living-to-permanent housing program. This program typically lasts two to five years, with its primary goal being to assist clients in obtaining permanent housing and achieving stability.
HarborCOV has been by Ashley’s side since the fifth month of her pregnancy up to the present. They have not only provided her with a safe place to live but also offered legal assistance access in immigration matters to formalize her immigration status. “I feel grateful to HarborCOV for the opportunity it has given me and my daughter to have our own space. Now, after several years, I’m starting to see the sunlight again. I felt profoundly alone when I decided to leave my abuser, but HarborCOV has become my extended family. If I had known about all the assistance and resources available to me to break free from that cycle of violence, I would have sought help a long time ago,” said Ashley.
Ashley’s journey to recovery and self-empowerment has been greatly bolstered by Rosaline’s steadfast support. Together, they’ve tackled a host of challenges, including panic attacks, anxiety, depression, and self-esteem issues. Rosaline has been Ashley’s guiding light, propelling her toward her goals. Foremost among these goals is Ashley’s commitment to healing her mental health and nurturing her personal growth as a woman. Beyond that, she envisions pursuing her studies, securing employment, and obtaining a driver’s license to regain her sense of freedom.
Rosaline (a privacy-preserving pseudonym) has been with HarborCOV for about a year, overseeing the transitional and permanent housing departments for survivors. On a monthly basis, she manages approximately 27 clients. Her role involves crisis intervention, emotional support, and case management including addressing food insecurity, employment, education, language, immigration, and income issues to prepare survivors for transition with a housing voucher. “Since our clients are very low incomes, obtaining a voucher is crucial for securing permanent housing outside our facility. That’s my main goal here, stabilize them so then they can leave with the voucher,” said Rosaline.
Pioneering a Holistic Approach
Rosaline, a first-generation Mexican American from California’s Central Valley, witnessed family and generational struggles related to women’s rights, inspiring her to pursue higher education and engage in family and sexual violence advocacy. However, during college, she discovered her true calling in sociology, aiming to understand the roots of violence in human behavior. She became passionate about criminology as well. Meeting a professor with a background in women’s rights, now known as gender studies, inspired her to double major in sociology and gender studies. She recently earned her MSW (Master of Social Work) from the University of Southern California.
At the age of 19, she completed a two-year practicum, first as a volunteer and then as a part-time youth educator, at the only domestic violence agency in her county, serving 23 cities with a team of fewer than 20 people. Her work involved youth education but took an emotional toll, especially when dealing with child survivors of sexual assault. This experience led her to question if human rights was the right field for her. “Hearing the kids talk like adults about what happened to them, seeing these little ‘Caritas’, these little faces. I don’t think I could do this job. I went home and just cried,” said Rosaline.
Shortly after, she volunteered part-time at a legal aid nonprofit, interpreting for mental health evaluations of asylum seekers. This allowed her to hear firsthand how clinicians communicated with various survivors of violence. This experience resonated with her, making her consider working in mental health while staying committed to domestic violence, sexual assault, human trafficking, and gender-based violence. “For me, it’s really bringing in that mental health perspective and connecting how really if a survivor’s mental health isn’t in the right space, they can’t do the things that we take off on our data check boxes, as housing, immigration, education, and things like that. You really have to have that holistic connection,” said Rosaline.
This holistic connection sets Rosaline apart in her approach to case management compared to other case managers. She prioritizes mental health work with her clients under the guidance of a clinical supervisor provided by a school agency, for her it is not just about checking in about food, housing, education, language classes, and job searches. Eventually, she would like to transition into a role as a therapist to support the community’s survivors. “I am not here to save people; I don’t think I have that ability. I am here to teach, I’m here to guide and answer questions when I can. I really want survivors of domestic violence to really heal, whatever that healing means to them. Trauma is a forever journey. There’s no pill that’s going to take it away or a 10-week program that can completely heal you,” said Rosaline.
Transforming Responses to Domestic Violence
Ashley’s case is one of the 27 clients Rosaline manages monthly. Rosaline sees the classic domestic violence cases often discussed in academic settings—stereotypical situations where the system failed to provide effective assistance due to limited resources and lack of proper training. Her prior organization in California was the only program serving 23 cities and towns, a model that remains unchanged even today. Meanwhile, there’s a shortage of healthcare professionals specializing in this field, lacking a comprehensive understanding of what a domestic violence survivor truly experiences. They find it challenging to understand that violence includes not only the physical aspect but also mental and emotional dimensions leading them to provide inadequate support.
Rosaline, having navigated the complexities of domestic violence cases, stands out. Her experience echoes a resounding call for change and improvement in how we address domestic violence and amplify the offer of assistance for domestic violence survivors.
For her, specialization in domestic violence is insufficient; a comprehensive approach involving experience in various sectors is essential. Organizations are strained, often unable to meet the immense demand, and forced to deny survivors the help they seek. Housing organizations, in particular, need a more profound trauma-informed approach and specialized training to effectively support domestic violence survivors. This pivotal juncture demands a reevaluation of our systems, a bolstering of resources, and united efforts toward a more informed, empathetic, and robust response to domestic violence. Only then can we genuinely make a difference in the lives of survivors and break the cycle of abuse.
The stories of Domestic Violence survivors are often untold, for several reasons such as fear of retaliation, shame and stigma, isolation, lack of awareness, financial dependence, cultural or religious factors, legal concerns, lack of support, trauma, and minimization of abuse. Yet they are tales of courage, survival, and resilience. Listening to the stories of Kourou, Ashley, and Rosaline, you embark on a journey of awareness, understanding, empathy, and compassion.
Their stories highlight the crucial role of organizations like HarborCOV, which provide not just physical safety but also legal and emotional support. HarborCOV aids survivors through safety plans, enabling them in their journey toward recovery and empowerment while preventing instances like Ashley’s, where returning to an abuser is a statistically common struggle. Thanks to HarborCOV, Ashley did not experience the typical pattern of returning to her abuser seven times before fully breaking free, as statistics often reveal.
It’s through collective effort, empathy, and understanding that we can create a world where survivors find the support and strength, they need to break free from the chains of abuse, ultimately fostering a society free from domestic violence. “Everyone can be an upstander and bystander,” as emphasized by Pich. It begins with listening to survivors without judgment and sharing essential resources. A simple act of compassion can be the first step toward healing for a survivor; for instance, in Ashley’s case, a simple smile could make her stronger.
Please contact Juliana DeSimone, juliana@harborcov.org, for more information.